More Kid Wisdom
In case you missed the first round of wisdom from my 10-year-old, here are are few more nuggets of brilliance from the world's youngest 40-year-old. These aren’t necessarily as funny as the last time around, but there’s true wisdom here. Sometimes.
Pay attention to the very last one, though. He basically solves life.
ON AGING GRACEFULLY:
You know how, when you first get a device, it turns on really fast, but after you've had it for a few years, it starts taking longer and longer to come back up whenever you restart it? I think that's how bodies work, which is probably why I wake up faster than you, Papa. I'm like a brand new iPad, and you're kind of just an old computer from the '80s.
ON RESPONSIBLE PET OWNERSHIP:
I think I'm allergic to dog poop, because when I pick it up, it makes me want to throw up. So I don’t think it’s healthy for me to do that.
ON HEALTHY EATING:
Me and Mama are bendy, Papa. But you're not, cuz you eat too much food that goes to your tummy and turns into bones. So you can't move much.
ON ADULT RESPONSIBILITES:
I can’t be responsible for anything. I haven't changed my settings from kid to grown-up yet.
ON GENDER EQUALITY:
Seriously? I don’t know why people say boys are smart and girls are pretty. There's no difference with boys or girls being smarter than each other. They're the same. Anybody can work hard to be as smart as they want. And being pretty doesn’t really matter.
ON MOTHER'S DAY:
Mama already knows we love her. We can't show our love by doing things for her that she normally does for us, though. She'll just think that we like cleaning the house.
ON COMMUNICATIONS TECHNOLOGY:
The cool thing about texting is that we don't have to talk whenever you want to talk to me.
I think Trump just has a bunch of angry emojis inside him that escape whenever he opens his mouth. Which is why he always looks like an angry little potato when he talks.
ON PERSONAL GROOMING HABITS:
You might think you don’t need a haircut because your hair probably thinks it looks good. But that's just because hair can't see itself.
ON THE SECRET OF LIFE:
People make life too complicated, when it's really pretty simple.
1.) Try not to hurt anyone
2.) Help people when you can.
3.) Don't be a jerk.
And that's really all the rules you need.