Introducing the Ultimate Security System — A Stick
I'm sure everyone wants to feel safe and secure in their home and I have discovered the ultimate security system. I call it a stick. After much experimentation, I have discovered that a simple stick in the window will keep out any and all intruders.
I made the discovery quite by accident. I was hanging around the house when I got a call that my glasses were in. Now, I had been waiting on those glasses for 3 weeks. yes, 3 weeks to get a pair of glasses. that, my friends is a story for another day. At any rate, when I got the call that my glasses were ready, I dashed out to the car to make the trip across town. I was in such a hurry that I forget one thing I would need to make that drive. I locked my keys in the house!
Well, I stood there feeling foolish for a few seconds, then decided I would try to break into my own house. I tried every window and found them all locked. I finally got to a window that wasn't locked and saw that the thing that was keeping the window from opening was a stick that had been inserted to keep the window from being raised. Not a problem; I decided to just knock the stick out of the way, crawl through the window and be on my merry way. It turns out that the process was easier said than done. I decided to ask my neighbor, Jim for a bit of help.
We worked that stick every way you can imagine and it never budged. I mean we couldn't get it to move. In no time, my yard was littered with all types of tools and ladders and other hardware. It looked like Harbor Freight was having a yard sale! We even drilled a hole in the window sill to try and punch the stick out with a screwdriver. That damn thing wouldn't budge. On closer inspection, we noticed that the stick was wedged into the groove on the sill and it was not about to go anywhere. Jim, who knows how things are put together, decided to take the window apart. Somewhere in the process, it dawned on me that, if we were a couple of burglars, the cops would have arrived long before we got around to taking the window apart.
We made enough noise to wake the dead and we were no closer to getting in than when we started out. . There was no way anyone could get into my house without waking the whole neighborhood. Luck was in my corner, because the owner came over and let me back in.
Now, I have quite s security system with all the alarms and bells and whistles and all that good stuff, but, if you want to keep people out of your house, just put a stick in the window. I pay a lot for security and now I'm thinking about cancelling my contract and just going out and buy some more sticks. It's a fraction of the cost and, once they are installed, they are maintenance free!
The stick. It's the ultimate deterrent and you may even have a few out in the garage. Call and cancel your security system contract and go out and get you some sticks. As for them by name.