Word to the wise: if you’re pulled over for your billionth DUI, the best way to prove your sobriety is definitely not to jump off a bridge. You’re welcome, glad to help.

Thomas Robert Harter, 44, of Louisiana already had seven drunk-driving arrests under his belt when he was stopped by cops on the Causeway Bridge near New Orleans on Sunday afternoon. Police said he reeked of booze (the St. Patrick’s Day necklace he was wearing was probably enough evidence) so they ordered him out of the car for field sobriety tests.

Harter then began waving his hands in the air like he just didn’t care — seriously — and made a break for the edge of the bridge. One officer managed to grab hold of him as he went over, but couldn’t hang on, so Harter dropped 20 feet into chilly Lake Pontchartrain.

The bridge was closed to traffic for about an hour while rescuers fished him out of the dangerous water and he was, needless to say, arrested for DUI and a litany of other charges.

But even though he’s currently sitting in jail, Causeway General Manager Carlton Dufrechou said, “He’s a lot better off than being crabmeat.”

Mr. Dufrechou has obviously never been in prison. We’d rather be crabmeat. Crabmeat doesn’t get fondled in the shower.

[Via NOLA.com]

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