I know that's a question that you don't care to answer and to be truthful you won't have to answer it because you'll be dead. Death is something that freaks almost all of us out. Since we have no idea what is lurking when we go into that great beyond there is still a lot of skepticism.

If only there was an IMAX film in 3-D where we could go check out what being dead is like and then decide if we're going to have an issue with it or not.

One of the things that usually comes up right about the time somebody you know dies is details on the funeral. Having been a professional  funeral pre-arranger in my younger days I actually know quite a bit about planting people for the great beyond. Let me just say this, funerals are not cheap.

If you really want to make your departure easier on the living then call the funeral home that you trust and prearrange. If you don't those emotional over-achievers are going to give you a send off that will cost so much it will have you spinning in your freshly dug grave.

The folks at Parting.com have created a great interactive tool to help you understand the cost of being dead.

Do you have any idea how much a basic traditional funeral costs? Let me define basic traditional funeral. We are talking about a wake or visitation, the funeral service itself, and a committal service at the cemetery. This does not include tombstone, grave marker, or cemetery plot. The prices we'll be discussing do include $1500 for a casket.

The price range for a funeral as I have described will run you from about $5700 bucks in Oregon to $7500 bucks in Minnesota. The average price of a funeral as we have described in Louisiana is about $6,700.


Let's break it down further. What  major city in Louisiana would be the most expensive place to expire and be planted? Did you say New Orleans? Nope that will only cost you $6,852. How about Baton Rouge? Nope, that's $6,632.  Lake Charles or Shreveport? Nope, Lake Charles is about $6,973 and Shreveport is $6,782.  The big money town for waking up dead is Lafayette. The average cost of a traditional funeral in the Hub City is $7,021.

Remember these are basic costs with basic services. The more fancy the box, the service, the wake, and anything else you'd like to add the more expensive it will be. So, how can you get around these high funeral cost? You can either not die or make sure you expire on trash day and you happen to collapse in a heap next to the curb.

As you can tell I am not a huge fan of funerals. I admire the men and women who work in that industry and their dedication to preserving the final memories for family and loved ones is beyond reproach. I am far too cynical to think that anybody who actually knew me would change their opinion of me whether I was in a gold plated box or a hefty bag.

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