20 Things You Can Buy With The $20k Clay Higgins Secured For Regional Development

Rep. Clay Higgins recently announced that he secured $20,000 of federal funds for the Imperial Calcasieu Regional Planning and Development Commission (IMCAL) to establish an economic development planning framework.

Higgins stated, “This investment will help ensure that local leaders have the tools necessary for sustained growth and continued economic success."

While the idea that Higgins, a vocal advocate for small government, would work to secure any amount of federal funding for one of Southwest Louisiana's many development commissions is a little strange (especially after he rode President Trump's "drain the swamp" message into office), but whatever. All things considered, $20,000 is a pretty insignificant amount when it comes to government dollars.

With that in mind, here's a list of 20 things you could buy with that sweet, sweet federal funding. All $20,000 of it.

• 2,000 LSU Cheerleader Barbie Dolls
• 1,913 po' boys
• 1,568 bags of Louisiana Crawfish, Crab, and Shrimp Boil
• 1,401 copies of Congress For Dummies
• 1,176 boxed sets of The Ultimate Garth Brooks 10 CD Collection
• 1,123 bamboo cutting boards shaped like Louisiana
• 1,000 Bob Ross Chia Pets
• 1,000 Fleur de Lis fidget spinners
• 929 copies of Trump's The Art of the Deal
• 869 tickets to the Audobon Zoo
• 800 New Orleans Ghost Tours
• 666 voodoo dolls
• One month's rent for 16 people in Lake Charles
• 7 Captain Clay Higgins Limited Edition pistols
• 5 New Orleans Saints Season Tickets in the Bunker Club section
• 1 Honda Civic
• 10% of one membership to Mar-a-Lago
• 1 year at LSU
• Around half of 1% of one mile of new road
• 0.005% of a new I-10 Bridge

You could also try to buy 20,000 bottles of mouthwash at the dollar store, if you really wanted to. Of course, many Louisiana parishes have some of the highest local sales taxes in the entire country, so if you plan on spending $20 grand at a Dollar Tree in Calcasieu Parish, for example, you'll only be able walk out with a little over 18,000 things.

We'd probably just end up spending the 20 grand on po' boys anyway, so giving $20,000 to IMCAL so they can develop whatever a "comprehensive economic development strategy" is might the best way to invest it, after all.

Thanks, Congressman Higgins!