St. Patrick’s Day Irish Jokes

Happy St. Patrick's Day to you. St. Paddy's Day is one of my favorite days and I love to celebrate with my friends both Irish and otherwise. Now, we've all heard jokes about how the Irish love to drink and fight. I don't know a single Irish person who gets offended at those jokes. I think that most of them are made up by Irish people becasue the Irish love a good laugh even at their own expense.

Here are a few not-so-well-known Irish jokes for you on this St. Patrick's Day.

• 'Ah, that was a lovely dress,' announced Colleen, 'and it would have fitted me if I could have got into it, so it would.'
• O'Gara was arrested and sent for trial for armed bank robbery.
  After due deliberation, the jury foreman stood up and announced, 'Not guilty.'
  'That's grand,' shouted O'Gara, 'Does that mean I get to keep the money?'
• Reilly is walking through a graveyard when he comes across a headstone with the inscription "Here lies a politician and an honest man."
  'Faith now,' exclaims Reilly, 'I wonder how they got the two of them in one grave.
• Murphy lost a hundred dollars on the Melbourne Cup, a famous Australian horse race.  He also lost another hundred on the television replay.
• Gallagher is in Boston and he is waiting patiently, also, he is watching the traffic cop on a busy street crossing.

  The cop stops the flow of traffic and shouts, 'Okay pedestrians'.  Then he allows the traffic to pass. He did this several times, and Gallagher is still standing on the sidewalk.

  After the cop has shouted 'Pedestrians' for the tenth time, Gallagher approaches him and says, 'Is it not about time ye let the Catholics across?'