Valentine's Day when you're single (or dating) is a lot different than Valentine's Day after you're married. Once you say "I do", everything changes.

With that in mind, here are some helpful Valentine's Day wishes you can share with your spouse on the special day. Which gets considerably less special the longer you're married.

YOU ARE WELCOME.

  • Dear Valentine:

    Let's party like we've still got two months until Tax Day.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

  • Dear Valentine:

    I'm tired. Let's just put on our fat clothes and watch Netflix.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Digital Vision
  • Dear Valentine:

    Thanks for not caring about sports.

    Thanks for not caring about shoes.

    We have the perfect marriage.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Thinkstock
  • Dear Valentine:

    Does this look infected to you?

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Pixland
  • Dear Valentine:

    I love it when the adorable symphony of your delicate digestive system wakes me up at 3am after those tacos you just had to have after midnight.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    iStock
  • Dear Valentine:

    I hope you enjoy the leftover Halloween candy I've been saving for Valentine's Day.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Jennifer Barrow
  • Dear Valentine:

    Roses are red,

    Violets are blue.

    I'm watching my stories,

    So STFU.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    manaemedia
  • Dear Valentine:

    You look great in those raggedy old sweatpants you've been wearing the past three days.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Issaurinko
  • Dear Valentine:

    I love you more than you love the dog you love more than me.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    hurricanehank
  • Dear Valentine:

    I just ate an entire box of Girl Scout cookies, and I love you even more than I hate myself.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Getty Images
  • Dear Valentine:

    I love you more than whichever teenager loves a vampire on whatever that stupid show is you watch on The CW.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    Getty Images
  • Dear Valentine:

    I'd press pause for you. Probably. After this level, anyway.

    Love,

    Your Spouse

    monkeybusinessimages