This Summer — The Return of Twinkies
Yes, let the celebrations begin, the Twinkie will be back on store shelves this summer.the truth of the matter is, I haven't eaten a Twinke in ages. Still, when they stopped making them, it suddenly seemed that I had to have one. I mean, really, they took another part of my childhood and did away with it. Without my permission I might add.
Does the following story sound familiar?
My school lunch consisted of whatever the hell kind of sandwich my mom made that day plus a piece of fruit and Twinkies.The sandwich and the fruit was always given to Mike the Human Garbage Disposal, but the Twinkies were never traded for anything.
(Above) The coolest lunchbox ever. Zorro!
How could a company that made such an important part of the "Kid Nutrition Pyramid" possibly go out of business? If you can't figure out how to make a profit selling Twinkies and Ding Dongs, you are a first class moron!
Well, a pair of hedge funds have purchased some of the old Hostess brands and, as you may have guessed by now, Twinkies is one of those brands.
The American public was devastated when Hostess plants were shut down late last year after a union battle. Since a pair of hedge funds purchased many of the most recognizable Hostess brands, forming Hostess Brands LLC, popular products like Ding Dongs and Hostess Cup Cakes (as well as Twinkies, of course) will soon be available again. Some of the brand’s other lines, like Wonder Bread, were bought up by competing companies Flower Foods and Grupo Bimbo, both of which have their own Twinkie-like products.
"Twinkie-Like?" Hey stooge, it's a Twinkie or it's not! "Twinkie-like" my @#%$%^^$
The real, honest to gosh, Twinkies should be back on store shelves by July.
Now, as to the other parts of my childhood that were taken away... Actually, I'd be happy if they could just make MAD Magazine funny again.