"Wanna go to the beach?"  NO.  I'm a pale girl...I'll burn.  "Wanna try this new bronzer?" NO.  I'm a pale girl...I'll look like a Cheeto.  "Use my suntan lotion...its an SPF 4."  NO.  I'm a pale girl...I'll look like a crawfish.  And we're not even going to talk about "self-tanning" products.  Here's a peek inside the angst of pale people.