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Ode To Lake Charles, In Haiku

flickr.com
flickr.com

Remember writing haikus? We all did it in elementary school, which I guess was meant to teach us how syllables work or something. I’m not sure; I wasn’t really paying attention.

Still, I thought it might be fun to revisit the humble haiku this morning because I’m weird and that’s how my brain works. If you don’t remember the rules of this ancient Japanese art form, they’re pretty simple. The first line has 5 syllables, the second has 7, and the last one has 5 again.

Also, I totally had to Google that to make sure.

 

Let’s start things off with an ode to everyone’s favorite terrifying construction:

Hate the I-10 bridge,
Gotta use the I-10 bridge,
I’m stuck on the bridge.

 

How about navigating Lake Charles streets? That do anything for ya?

Driving on Ryan,
Why aren’t there any turn lanes?
Guess I’ll just go straight.

 

I still haven’t tried this place, which is currently in the #1 spot on USA Today’s 10BEST list for the best po’ boy in Louisiana. (You should go vote for it, by the way.)

“You must try Darrell’s.”
Darrell’s is way too busy.
Fine. I’ll get Wendy’s.

 

I’ll never understand how the state government is so broke when it literally taxes everything. Ever. On the planet.

Louisiana:
Hope you like paying taxes,
‘Cause the state is broke.

 

Ever notice how they keep inspecting the I-10 bridge, but they never actually fix anything? It’s weird.

Bridge inspection day:
“Yep. It’s still falling apart.”
Don’t worry; it’s fine.

 

No matter how many times I listen to “The Gambler”, Kenny Rogers has never helped me not be awful at it.

It’s casino night!
Machine goes ding. I don’t win.
I’ll buy a scratch off.

 

Is it mosquitos or mosquitoes? Ah, who cares. They suck. (Literally.)

Mosquitos go buzz,
Googled the Zika virus,
We’re going to die.

 

I just moved here, and I’m still trying to figure out how to pronounce things so I don’t look like an idiot. I’m failing miserably.

Iowa is weird.
People say it’s Eye-Oh-A,
I don’t understand.

 

This was the easiest one. Because duh.

Crawfish, crawfish, craw…
…fish, crawfish, crawfish, crawfish,
Crawfish, crawfish, EAT.

 

How about you? How would you depict our lovely area via ancient Japanese poetry? Send us your haikus, and let us know how you feel in 17 glorious syllables.

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