This may sound like a scene right out of a movie or sit-com, but it's a true story and it's mine and I swear that, at least a portion of this story is true. I don't know how old I was when this happened, but, for the sake of the story, let's say I was about 6.

Now, kids don't live by the calendar quite as much as adults do. If you tell a kid, "I'll see you on thanksgiving", you've got to understand that, to them, that's forever away. If you say it to them, say in August, it's eons away. When your only six, three or four months is a pretty hefty chunk of time. In August, a six-year-old doesn't think, "In a few months it will be Thanksgiving."

At any rate, it was around September when my dad brought me a new pet. I was very excited to find that I had a new playmate, a turkey that someone in the family, in a wild fit of creativity, named "Tom." Let's face it, it doesn't matter what you name a turkey. He's only going to use that name for awhile.

Now, it was my job to feed Tom and make sure he had plenty of water at all times. So, every day I would go out to the garage and feed and water Tom. I became kind of fond of that bird. I think he felt a certain affection for me too, because, after all, I was the Great Bringer of Food in his eyes.

Well, dear reader, you're certainly ahead of me now and you know that I had Tom for dinner on Thanksgiving day. After the meal was served, I went out to the garage and found Tom had escaped from his pen! I was distraught to say the least. Being six, at the time, the hatchet and a solid floor of feathers in the garage gave me no clue whatever.

At no time, have I claimed to be a bright child. Bright kids grow up to be doctors and lawyers. Kids who never seem to reach their full potential go into broadcasting and write stories on the net.

My parents broke down and told me that we had had dear Tom for dinner and that's why we took care of him. You know what's weird about this story? I don't remember my reaction. Seriously. I have no idea how the news that my pet had come out on a nice, polished, silver tray affected me. All I know is that every, time I see a similar situation in a TV show or movie, I can muster up a big load of ennui and say quietly to myself,
"Ah, yes. Been there done that. Pass me a drumstick."