My Battle With Squirrels

I have nothing against squirrels. They are cute little animals that taste just like chicken. I'm just kidding. I have not actually eaten squirrel since I was a little BB gun wielding youngster. I even put food out for them; but they want the birds food and that is where the battle of wits begins.

A few years ago I bought my parents a bird feeder. My dad has been at war with squirrels for years ; so I made sure to buy him the squirrel proof bird feeder. It works great and provides my parents with entertainment. It is especially funny to watch the squirrels try to eat from it.

My wife decided that this would make a good gift for me and bought me a squirrel proof bird feeder. It is a little different design than my parents bird feeder; and the squirrels have figured out how to rob it. I can understand how the squirrels  get aggravated seeing the birds get all the good food. My wife and I try to help them by throwing them the old bread, left over chips and other morsels. They really like her spiced saltines. This did not help with the bird feeder problem though.

I can fill up the feeder and it will last the birds over a week. The squirrels can clean it out in  one day. They know they are not supposed to eat from it. At first I would just bump the patio door when I would see them eating from it. They would drop off of it and take off. Then the seeds must have became addictive because they started to show more resolve. They would stay on the bird feeder through me bumping the door and I would actually have to open the door before they would get off the feeder. Eventually they would not gget off the feeder until I actually stepped out on the patio. This started to get the best of me and drastic action was called for.

This is when I decided I needed a weapon. I decided it would be my flip flops. I took one off and as soon as I went out of the door I hurled it at the escaping critter. I have never come close to hitting one though. Word of this must have spread through the squirrel community. They do not run when my wife walks outside ; but let the shoe throwing maniac step out and they take off. That bird seed must be awful good though, because they still raid the feeder.

It has come to the point where we bring the feeder inside when we are not there. The poor birds are suffering because of the squirrels. Any suggestions?