If Dogs Could Talk — The Top 5 Things They Would Say

You might recall that, yesterday, we put up a story about how a study in Hungary has issued a report stating that dogs catch on to a lot more than we thought they did. I guess that story was in my mind last night, because my dog kept looking at me like he wanted to talk.

Naturally, I give him time to respond, but so far, he has yet to come out with anything earth shaking. I would imagine that, if Hank could talk, he might say things like:

5. For the last time: I'M a good boy!!! Please stop asking!

4. Thanks for the bowl with my name on it. Otherwise, I would've thought this dirty water was for the kids.

3. I saw you picking up my poop, so I went to the litter box and ate the cat's. No need to thank me. Just payin' it forward.

2. How about instead of carrying me around in a purse, you give me a razor and let me kill myself?

1. If you ask me to "shake" one more time and don't give me a biscuit, I'm going to take a giant dump in your slippers.