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Guarding Tiger Stadium

NCAA Football - Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl - Miami vs LSU - December 30, 2005

All right, I’m not an LSU fan per se’ I’m an Aggie. However I’m a ‘homer’ meaning that if LSU is in a game with someone that doesn’t conflict with A&M interests, then I pull for the Tigers. And now I’m gonna help you out with your stadium security.

It seems that the LSU stadium has been broken into and vandalized twice in the past couple of months! Hey what the heck is going on over there in BR? Are they locking the stadium up nice and tight at night and leaving a light on?

The first time was attributed to over-zealous Alabama fans as the incident occurred the night before the Tide played the Tigers. The ‘Bama students tried their best to damage the Tiger Eye at midfield but that was quickly repaired, the students charged and the game went on… but we won’t delve into the game here. Then, last week ne’er do wells did a little damage to the grass, which the field crew says is easily fixable, essentially the ‘grass will grow back’.

Now, about stadium security and my remark about locking it up at night… a modern sports complex is …well… complex. With many openings large and small for people to come in and out, giant doors for equipment and so on – I don’t know but a facility like Death Valley probably has 50-100 ways to get in and out, some are likely very well protected with video cameras and heavy duty advanced locking systems and there may be a few less well observed and secure I’m not sure cause it’s been about twenty years since I’ve seen a game there.

Here’s my suggestion, wouldn’t work at A&M, or UT, bama lama or any other major school I can think of at the moment – but LSU you have a TIGER for a mascot… a Tiger! Think about the possibilities for minute.

I know because I’m a Texan sometimes I think in uh… let’s say… extreme terms, but my many cousins and family from Louisiana have pretty much the same disposition as I do and I think they’d all agree.

So here’s my suggestion for guarding Tiger stadium: Once the new Mike the Tiger is fully grown, I’d let him roam the field at night. Yeah, I’d put up some gates with bars so he couldn’t access the stands and be confined to the field, and what do you think unscrupulous nocturnal human visitors would think when they heard that frightening roar and turned to see a 350lb man eating machine running toward them?

Now, about the litter box…

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