It happens every year, doesn't it? The family gathers around the festive table and for 15 minutes it's a thunderous cacophony of knives and forks happily attacking the feast of the year. We leave the table a bloated cartoon of ourselves and we retire to the TV room to "watch football."

Before you know it, it's half-time and you not only don't know the score, you're not just real sure who's playing. All you know is that there are still pies to be consumed and even if Aunt Bertha isn't that great of a cook, Cool Whip will make anything taste good.

That's pretty much the scene isn't it? We all eat a ton of turkey and the next thing we know, we're off to La-La Land for a few hours respite in the gorging. And what part of Thanksgiving gets the blame for the napfest? Why, the guest of honor, of course.

There always that one uncle at the dinner table, let's call him "Uncle Bernie", but he could be "Uncle Whatsizname", because we all have an Uncle Bernie somewhere in the family tree. Anyway, in the middle of the feast fest, Uncle Bernie starts spouting off about how turkey contains so much tryptophan and that it causes us to be sleepy right after eating it. I bought into that for years. And why not? All the evidence is in favor of that. Turns out it's a total apocryphal.

Turkey doesn't contain any more tryptophan that any other kind of meat. It's all that other stuff we dump in there. In addition to all that turkey, we eat every side dish known to man. We eat potatoes like our bodies are starving for more starch than we get from all the bread stuffing. By the way, I wonder who the first person to bake a turkey and think, "I wonder what it would be like if I shoved a whole lot of bread in there?"

By now, you're eating left over turkey. You may go in for those handy recipes from Family Circle or the Betty Crocker Cookbook, about how to "spice up" those Thanksgiving leftovers. I'll share what I do for free.

Take two slices of bread, slather with mayonnaise, add a few chopped pickles and dig in. It's an old family tradition and I intend to respect it. I had a turkey sandwich for breakfast this morning. I'd write more, but I feel a nap coming on. If you have any questions, call Uncle Bernie, he knows everything.