Time for another handy crime tip.

Today, we will cover "Hiring a Hit Man."

First of all, this is sort of like reader a repair manual and then trying to bore out a V-8. Yeah, you might get lucky and do it right, but chances are, you'll end up paying more than you planned.

Just a couple of tips on -- Hiring a Hit Man

First, let's watch this little self obsessed moron try to hire a hit man:


Here are a few flaws in her plan:

1. Someone TOLD her he was a hit man? Well of course, people would never lie about a thing like that.

2. Hit men DO NOT take 'down payments.

3. This is a further note on #2. Even if a real hit man did take a 'down payment', $100 would not be the price.

4. Finally, a dose of reality. Most real hit men are 'employed' and don't take on marital problems. A real hit man doesn't want to get involved in business with 'civilians.' It's just not good business.

5. 99.9999 % of people who would take on a job like the one in the video are cops.

So, in summation of crime tip #723 -- Get help from a qualified mental illness expert and a divorce attorney. Anything else will, no doubt, lead you to being locked up for the rest of your life. Marriages can be bad -- a bad marriage is a walk in the park compared to prison.