It has come to this. A parade has been set for October 15th in Tucson, Arizona on 4th avenue Saturday at 6:30 PM (if you go remember Arizona is not on DST). Attendees are invited to show up in full clown makeup. Organizers claim the march is a “peaceful way to show clowns are not psycho killers. We want the public to feel safe, and not be afraid. So come out, bring the family, meet a clown and get a hug”. Uh… yeah…

OK. Maybe not. I do have some yardwork to catch up on Saturday and besides I’m not afraid nor have I ever been afraid of clowns. Not even so-called Creepy Clowns. Stephen King clowns don’t frighten me, nor does the Burger “King” when he’s looking into my window or the “Jack” in the Box in a suit leading a boardroom meeting. Ronald McDonald isn’t scary either of course… and say, why do these burger places all have clown mascots anyway? I’ve heard of people ‘eating their emotions’ so is this a marketing ploy to make us laugh and hungry or even frighten us into eating?

No, if you wanna worry me you need either any kind or size of snake or a Mothman. These are the only two things on this planet that I really am nervous about.

Snakes I’ve encountered so far successfully, never seen a Mothman but I think for me it’d be the single creepiest, most frightening and un-nerving thing to witness. Those red glowing eyes looking at you from some dark corner of the backyard or inhumanly high up in a tree. And that’s odd too because Mothmen aren’t actually supposed to be frightening or so I’ve heard, but they’re some kind of messengers warning of tragedy about to happen.

Nevertheless, the mere mention of “Mothmen” near sundown is enough for me to go momentarily silent, stare into empty space for a few seconds before quietly going back indoors and locking the patio door behind me. If I ever encountered a Mothman you’d have to call me an ambulance. If my Mothman was carrying a snake, just call me out a hearse.

So – I have digressed from Creepy Clowns and their parade in the far southwest desert near dark two weeks before Halloween. Well, I just gave myself two more reasons not to go. Clowns parading in the desert at twilight to prove they’re not all ‘psycho killers’… three reasons not to go. Plus there’s snakes known to be in the desert. Four reasons for me not to attend.

Well, if you do decide for yourself to go out to this oddball clown parade near TOMBSTONE Arizona over in Tucson have a good time and if you happen to also see a Mothman get a photo for me wouldya?

So far about 60 clowns have indicated they’ll attend, they’re all headed out there now in one 1967 Volkswagen bug.

Clown Lives Matter