It takes a lot to get me to fill out a complaint card. I mean, service has to be really bad or the room has to be really messy for me to take the time to fill out one of those cards on the nightstand.

Here are some actual complaints from various hotels. I hope none of my friends wrote any of these, because they are down right moronic!

1. The sheets were too white - seriously? Did they glow in the dark and keep you awake? Was the water too wet as well?

2. The ocean was too blue - let's see the hotel do something about that one.

3. My girlfriend's snoring kept me awake all night - Ditto on this one.

4. There's no steak on the vegetarian menu - I have no point of reference on anyone that stupid. If you know someone that would write such a comment, you might want to stay away from them. That kind of stupidity has to be contagious.

And the capper of them all:

5. My dog didn't enjoy the stay - Next time, let the damn dog pick the hotel.